Question: Who is Al Gore?

Today while I was trying to think of something expensive on which I had not yet pooped--and drawing a blank--I got this wonderful question from Phil Goodman.

Dear Sir,

I did not see anywhere on the Answer Bird site to submit a question. Hopefully this route will get my question to either of the contributors.

Al Gore has gotten me quite worried about the future of the Planet so I went on his company's website to purchase Carbon Credits. They say that the money will be used, among other thing, to build Wind Turbine Farms. I've always heard that birds are so stupid that they fly right into these Windmills and kill themselves. Is this true? Is Al Gore building giant bird shredders?

Also, if you happen to know, if I purchase enough Carbon Credits to bring me to Carbon neutral, will I have to send them more money if I pass gas or is that included in the price?

Thank you.

Respectfully,

Phil

Phil, one of the weird things about Blogger is that they do not have an automatic thing for sending questions to terrific cuddly birds such as myself. However I do read the comments or at least make my primate do it, so you can ask me there.

I do not know who Al Gore is. Unless he is a person I can count on to feed me and/or idolize me from afar and/or rub my feathers, I see no reason why I should bother finding out. Because he serves no purpose which I am able to perceive.

Whether shredding birds is a good idea or not depends largely on which birds we are talking about. For example, shredded chicken is quite delicious. And a wind turbine might be a great way to get rid of a mopey white bird the garbage men keep forgetting to pick up.

However if you come here and suggest bringing a turbine anywhere near the Acme of Creation, i.e. my round and radiant self, I am afraid you will have to face the awesome wrath of my beak. And while I cannot say for sure that I would poop on you, I must warn that the poop option is always on the table. And sometimes so is the poop.

As for birds being stupid, that is sometimes true. Some birds think their reflection in a mirror is an intruder who wants to steal their seeds. I, on the other hand, realize that it is merely my girlfriend.

I cannot answer your questions about carbon. I know little about chemistry, and my lab equipment is limited to a couple of dishes and some water I threw bits of bird toy in.