Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Question: Keyboards More Delicious Than TV Remotes?





Greetings, admirers and minions. I am here bring joy into your lives, simply by being me. In return, please give me money so I can buy a bigger cage and tastier things to destroy. And also I need information on opening a bank account with no ID. Possibly in a bird-banking haven. Like the Canary Islands.

Suze asks:

Dear Mr. Answer Bird:

I need advice. I'd like to know which is better to chew up - computer keyboards or TV remotes....I have to make a choice real soon.....


Dear Suze:

EAT YOUR BIRD TOY! EAT YOUR BIRD TOY! DO YOU LOVE ME? MORNING, BIRD!

I just have to say those things over and over. It's a parrot thing.

To answer your question, you have forced me to make a hard choice. Like pooping on top of the DVD player and getting immediate gratification--which I like--or pooping into it when the door opens and making the human buy a new one.

On the whole, I would have to say keyboards are better eating than remotes. The buttons in remote controls refuse to come out, and remotes are too heavy to carry while running from a human. However keyboard keys pop out very easily, and then they can be secreted in unknown remote locations. Like Dick Cheney.

After that, you get to sit on your perch enjoying a peanut while your human wanders around the room, looking behind things and saying wonderful new words for you to learn and repeat.

Now here is a video much better than the one the cockatoo put up. Because it features a real parrot and not a white thing that looks like an anorexic chicken.

4 comments:

Susskins said...

Dear Marvin,

When I look for parrots on the internet, I always come up with pictures of Macaws rather than African Greys. What's the deal? Why are the Macaws more famous? Is it the bright candy coloring?

Keith

Suze said...

Thanks so much for your answer. I couldn't wait, though. I did the remote first. It was easy. My human was in the bathroom and left the remote near my cage - foolish human. I guess she uses cheap remotes because these buttons were especially rubbery, which I love - and they came right off.

After she got over losing the remote, I hit the keyboard. That took a little more stealth. I have a loose water bowl door. I snuck out that way and there was the nirvana of chew toys.....she's still looking for the "q" - but I know she'll never find it.

Love,
Beasley, the Wonder Bird

Anonymous said...

Maurice Sez:
I vote for remote buttons....and often too! I really like the red one and it gets you a bonus because as soon as the red button is gone my human MUST buy a new controller so the game can begin again!!
YEAH for red buttons

Molotov Cockatiel said...

You haven't lived until you've gnawed through the power cord on your mom's laptop.

Three times.