Here is a link to a wonderful story about how South Florida is being improved by immigrants. Of course, the immigrants are parrots. More hairless monkeys would not improve anything, except for the places they left.
''And West Palm Beach to Homestead is extensively landscaped with plants from around world, so parrots can find some fruit from their native range,'' Pranty says. ``There are trees in fruit or flower year-round in South Florida, plus there are probably tens of thousands of bird feeders. They'll eat almost anything.''
This is sort of misleading. While it is true that I eat lots of different things, including the buttons from TV remotes, I have certain standards. For example, when the fat human brings home expensive bird cookies from the pet store, I drop them in my water dish and watch them dissolve. He seems to enjoy watching me, because he jumps up and down and hoots and does other excited-monkey behaviors.
I have considered moving out and taking advantage of the local fruits and nuts. But I have been informed that in the real world, no one puts your food in a bowl and brings it to you. Unacceptable. In fact, I am not even sure where bowls come from, in nature. I have looked out the window a lot, and I have never seen a bowl tree.
I encourage the outmoded white bird to leave and explore the great outdoors, but he says he is not going anywhere where he can't count on continuous bird-squeezing. If he doesn't take the hint, I am going to offer him to a Chinese restaurant.
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