Reader Jazzbass wants to know:
Marv, what will you do when the fat one expires?
This question makes me sad. Because when I think of the fat one expiring, I think of me having no one to clean my cage and buy me bird toys. That is just about the saddest thing I can imagine. I am also sad that the cockatoo is still here, even though the trash people come by three times a week.
I guess if anything happens to the fat human, I will have to rely on the billions of other humans who simply can't get enough of me and long to scratch my head and tell me how pretty I am. It will be rough. There could be a half-hour transition period during which I might briefly be without peanuts. However I am a tough bird and think I would be okay.
I hope they would not leave the fat human here as long as the cockatoo has been here. The waste management situation in this neighborhood is atrocious.