Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Question: Am I Glad my Owner is Religious?

I have received another question, from Mr. Mollo:

marv - has steve changed as your bird daddy since he has become more religious?

how do his new beliefs affect YOUR life?

First of all, it seems odd to me that the fat human believes in God, in view of the overwhelming evidence that he is descended from monkeys.

Be that as it may, I am in favor of having a religious primate, for a couple of reasons.

Number one, he felt guilty and bought me a bigger and even more palatial cage last week. It is my understanding that guilt is a big part of religion, and I look forward to milking it as hard as possible.

Second, I am excited by the "turn the other cheek" thing, as applied right after I drop a copious deuce in the human's hair.

Here is a bird video:

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Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Question: Did I Like the Hugging Lion Video?

None of you smelly primates have asked me about this, so I will volunteer an answer anyway. The question: did I like the famous video of Christian the hugging lion? Here it is:

While the video was okay, I must point out that it underscores the difference between lions and parrots. When Christian saw his smelly primates after a couple of years apart, he got all mushy and ran up to them and started hugging and licking them. In similar circumstances, I would also run up to the fat human. However I would do so only to get close enough to poo in his hair. As I have done in the past, many times.

Are we sure Christian refrained from eating the primates because he loved them? Not really. After a day or two in a hot Land Rover, they may have been a little ripe. He may have been put off by the odor.

No bird video this time. You already got to see the lion.

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