I would like to announce that I am once again being persecuted. Not only have I not been squeezed since last night, but I am receiving dirty looks because of my efficiency in utterly wiping out an $11 bird toy I received yesterday afternoon.
THIS AGGRESSION WILL NOT STAND.
I cite Article 3 of the Cockatoo Code, which states, "A cockatoo must destroy all wooden objects at the earliest opportunity, except while being squeezed. And if at all possible, even then."
I AM NOW A POLITICAL PRISONER.
I demand a visit from the Red Cross and a fresh bird toy.
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