Monday, April 2, 2007

Question: What do We do All Day?

Today's surprisingly grouchy question was actually posed last week.

Sunny's Mom asked:

Two parrots sharing the responsibility for blogging, and you haven't posted since 3/29?

I dunno about bathing, but - what do you guys do all day long? Can't take 10 minutes out of your busy day and write up a new entry?


Dear Mom:

What is up with the attitude? I can only assume you are crabby from laying all those eggs. The answer is to quit laying big ones to impress people. Laying little ones is considerably less stressful, and if you are really good, you can squirt them out between the bars of your cage so they land on something expensive. Of course, that assumes you are shooting blanks as a diversion, instead of trying to build a family. Perhaps you are Catholic, in which case I apologize.

As for what we do all day long, the cockatoo waits for the garbage truck to take him away with all the other useless objects. And he gets it wrong every day, by waiting in the house. Meanwhile, I sit on my perch radiating cuteness and adorability, sort of like a round grey version of the Dalai Lama.

In between "sets," as I call my perch sessions, I like to mix it up by squawking loud and inappropriate things while the human is on the phone, and I also remove the most nutritious items from my dish and throw them behind heavy furniture so I can concentrate on the peanuts.

You should be half so productive. I mean, except for the eggs. Where you seem to be overachieving.

And now, a fine video. Starts a little slow, but well worth watching.

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Walt said...

Too cute - the "Numa-Numa" song, eh? I guess the bird was left to listen to a version of it for some time. I realized that I was watching "Cops" a lot when Alfie started to do siren noises.

Sunny the Budgie said...

Actually, Mollo, Shelly and I were all adopted. Mom didn't lay us, and - other than the occasional truly stupid comment, she never lays an egg. And she musta simply been in a snarky mood when she asked those questions. Maybe it was soon after Mollo let a load fly all over the fabric blinds in the bathroom.

We're just little guys, not impressive creatures like you and Maynard. So, we don't really accomplish all that you two do.

Still - you do set a high standard for us, and we will do our best!

In the meantime, please try to forgive Mom. She's pretty good with the sprays and treat sticks, and you'd almost think she's a cocktiel the way she helps Mollo preen.

Not too bad, for a human.

David said...

Sunny is lying! Nothing is more impressive than a cockatiel, except perhaps a budgie viewed under ultraviolet light.

Cockatiels have crests. Do grey poopie birds have crests?

Those white trashie birds have crests, but they are just trying to be big cockatiels. Why don't those trash men pick up white blob?

Mollo is the best. He even has his very own trash can to nest in. Not some cage like the answer bird who has no crest.

Crests are best.

I have to go poop on a shoulder now.

Anonymous said...

A little-known fact, unlike most birds, human females have two functional ovaries. What may be seen as overachieving, at first glance, is nothing but rank slacking.

Desert Cat said...

Tears are streaming...that is hilarious! Someone's been singing numa numa around the house...